40+ Healthcare Professionals Share Stories Of Patients Who Pretended To Be Sick
Working in the medical field is extremely demanding. You must balance a methodical approach to diagnosis and sympathy while treating a patient after years of struggle to obtain a license. Fortunately, most doctors, nurses, and EMTs can maintain their composure in the face of adversity, even when the patient is feigning illness. These moments are half hilarious and half concerning, with some being light and some not.
Time to Leave
This is what you’d expect from an angsty teenager, not a 21-year-old man. After receiving oxygen at the hospital for respiratory issues, he had persuaded his father that his tongue was still hanging out.
Time To Leave
The doctor immediately recognized this as a classic case of a child sticking his tongue out. He even tried to be more convincing by convulsing, if that’s the right word. In reality, he was attempting to “punish” his father for robbing him of his phone.
Knock Yourself Out
Dropping one’s hand on one’s face is another telltale sign that medical professionals can spot if someone is lying. A patient came in with seizure symptoms. She’s still “seizing” three days later. Seizures are a serious medical condition that causes a patient a great deal of pain, so making jokes about them or faking one is wrong on multiple levels.
Knock Yourself Out
The doctors attempted to drop her hand on her face twice whenever her symptoms were out of the ordinary. She took it off both times without hesitation, demonstrating complete control over her nerves.
Ice Bucket Challenge
The author of this post works in a medical facility but is not a doctor. A nurse rushed in one afternoon, reporting that her patient was unresponsive. The patient, a man, was completely oblivious to normal stimuli.
Ice Bucket Challenge
The next doctor, who was a straight shooter, was cleverly summoned. At first, he tried to yell at the man. When that didn’t work, he took a water pitcher and poured ice-cold water into the false patient. He was up and cursing the doctor in no time.
Do You Hear Me?
It is not acceptable to falsify hearing tests. It’s effortless to contract, and your doctor will most likely despise you as a result. Every doctor has their own method for catching these liars. One doctor, for example, might whisper to the patient that they’ve dropped something, prompting the patient to search the room for whatever it is they’ve dropped.
Do You Hear Me?
In the case of children, “funny” words are inserted into the mix, and doctors watch to see if they smile. Surprisingly, the audiologist claims that both adults and children are frequently found pretending to have hearing problems.
Mentally Ill Soldier
Soldiers are the warriors you rely on to keep you safe if the land falls into chaos. They are strong-willed and well-trained. But, unfortunately, this soldier was doing everything except what he was supposed to be doing.
Mentally Ill Soldier
It’s safe to say he thrived on the attention he’d get if he pretended to be in mortal danger all of the time. After he did this twice or three times, the battalion medics realized he had a faking problem. Malingering is the military term for this type of behavior.
More Treats and a Limp
These days, not only animals but also pets are faking illnesses. Their intent, on the other hand, is mostly benign. For example, a dog was brought in by a veterinarian who appeared to be lame on occasion. The medical professionals were convinced it was injuring itself at home after finding nothing wrong with its physical exams or radiographs.
More Treats And A Limp
To keep an eye on their favorite canine, the owner installed a CCTV system in their home, and it was then that they discovered how the dog would pretend to be injured to gain more attention and treats.
No Time to Waste
Some people seem to be on the verge of losing their cool all of the time. It would be fine if they kept their craziness to themselves, but that doesn’t happen all the time. The majority of these cases are seen by doctors, nurses, and emergency medical technicians (EMTs).
No Time To Waste
Like this diabetic patient who was so impatient with himself when injecting himself with insulin that he ended up in the emergency room every time, surprisingly, he would do it while staring at the nurses. Unfortunately, one day he went too far, and everything came to a sad end.
A Self-Made Vampire
We’ve all heard legends about mythical creatures and demons who feast on human flesh. Vampires are well-known in popular culture, thanks to films such as Twilight and The Vampire Diaries. However, when a teen began drinking the blood of vampires, he went too far.
A Self Made Vampire
He ended up in the hospital because he did something that was against the rules. He was experiencing abnormal symptoms that were indistinguishable. Fortunately, the nurse was there to catch him in the act.
Some Impeccable Timing
It’s a bad and shallow thing to fake an illness. However, this is one of the few times when faking a disease has resulted in something positive. Kids make up illnesses all the time to get out of school, and this was no exception.
Some Impeccable Timing
It wasn’t until they arrived at the hospital that medical personnel informed them that he needed one of his kidneys removed. So yes, he was most likely suffering from a serious illness. The silver lining is that he discovered it in good time.
Seize on Cue!
Observing how hard a patient tries to persuade you that their illness is real is one of the best ways to tell if they are lying. For example, a Redditor’s firefighter husband and EMT discovered a man lying face-up on the floor, clearly faking a seizure.
Seize On Cue!
They asked him to engage in a specific behavior to ensure that he acted in the right way. So it did, in fact, accomplish its goal. But, on the other hand, isn’t it embarrassing for both parties to have wasted so much time on something like that?
Which Unit is She From?
Even though it is unethical, this couple’s planning and plotting on this particular occasion is quite impressive. First, the couple summoned an ambulance, claiming the boyfriend was having a seizure. Medical professionals are unsure whether this is a real condition or not after careful diagnosis.
Which Unit Is She From?
To be safe, they transfer him to the hospital. That’s when they realize the girl had to return to the hospital by four o’clock because her pass had expired. Only the psychiatry unit issues are handled in this manner.
Called the Bluff
Scaring a child with the treatment that follows is a great way to see if they lie about an illness. A mother, visibly exhausted by her son’s obnoxiousness and lying, took him to the hospital and requested that he be given 20 shots.
Called The Bluff
The child, understandably, was terrified. He began to cry as he revealed the truth to her. We have no idea why the child lied, but it could have been the standard “I don’t want to go to school today” excuse.
How to Make Them Talk
Audiologists are the best people to ask whether a patient is lying or not. We’ve said it before, and we’ll repeat it: do not pretend to have a hearing problem. Children are the most easily caught.
How To Make Them Talk
Nothing more than placing a microphone close to their “deaf” ear and asking them a question about something they are truly interested in will suffice. It could be one of their favorite sports or video games if they are young boys. Quick and to the point!
Give Me One Second
A patient who had been arrested for drunk driving was discovered by a Redditor who posted about it. They’d been experiencing “seizing” on and off for quite some time. Finally, they were loaded into the back of an ambulance by medical personnel, where a police officer joined them…
Give Me One Second
They would start shaking as soon as they held the patient’s arm. That’s when the EMT reminds them that they need to be quiet for one second if they want the medication. Then, the patient pauses as if on cue, allows them to administer the medication, and resumes seizures.
Goes in the Eye
If you’re a medical professional reading this, and you think a patient is faking a faint, here’s a clever and painless way to fix them up. Just say the words “ocular needle” and how straight it goes in the way.
Goes In The Eye
They wouldn’t have enough sense to care if a needle was pushed into their eyeball if they were truly unconscious. A healthy person, on the other hand, would instantly become 20% healthier. It’s nothing more than simple word therapy.
Non-Organic Hearing Loss
What lengths would you go to prove a point? We certainly hope it doesn’t go as far as this guy. A young man walked into the hospital, claiming he was suffering from hearing loss, after receiving noise complaints about his music.
Non Organic Hearing Loss
When doctors encounter cases where a lack of common sense and resistance is the root cause of a “medical condition,” they must often resort to more drastic measures. For example, a Redditor’s mother shared a story about a woman suffering from seizures, which caused her to lose the use of her limbs.
Please Relax Lady!
The doctors performed a battery of physical and audio tests, none of which turned up anything significant. He completely forgot about his act when I asked him about his evening plans. In reality, he was attempting to obtain results to justify his bad neighbor’s behavior.
Please Relax Lady!
She resisted the doctor’s attempts to push her arms and claimed she couldn’t move. All of this trouble could have been avoided in the first place if she had simply relaxed her limbs. Instead, the doctor walked out of the room and immediately discharged her.
You Need It
Keep in mind that your doctor has access to your medical records before attempting to deceive them. This basically means they’re aware of every medical condition you’ve ever had (recorded), every ailment, the medicines you’re taking (if any), the dosage, and everything else in between.
You Need It
Moreover, they are aware of when and if you require a medication refill. What’s the point of lying to your doctor about properly taking your medications if they’ll know when you need more? You’re obviously avoiding prescribed medication if you don’t.
Find a Bruise
If you’re unfamiliar with the term, a malingerer is someone who, on occasion, fakes illnesses to avoid working. One day, a well-known malingerer walked into their local ER, claiming to be paralyzed on one side of her body.
Find A Bruise
Her friend, a Redditor, examines her and realizes she is lying. She cleverly inquires about the “bruises” under their arm from the malingerer. She was obviously unaware of the bruises and had to check for herself – by lifting her “paralyzed” arm.
La La Land
Acting takes a lot of work for some people. Others, such as the acquaintance of this Redditor, lack the necessary brain cells. She claimed she was having seizures and wanted to prove it by doing something.
La La Land
We’re not sure where she saw a real person seize, but it was most likely in a bad movie. She collapsed to the ground and began rolling uncontrollably while shouting a high-pitched “La la la.” She truly believed she had everyone fooled.
Don’t Forget the BBQ Sauce!
Because children aren’t the most experienced liars, it’s much easier for their doctors to catch up to any web of lies they try to spin. A particularly amusing incident involving a child and his father can be found here. The nurse, doctor, and EEG tech were all taken aback when the child could have a “seizure” on command.
Don’t Forget The BBQ Sauce!
The doctor did not forget to ask him if he wanted BBQ sauce on his chicken nuggets, despite his nerve-wracking loss of control throughout the entire procedure. The child knows what is most important to him.
Please, Call Comcast
Comcast has a bad rep in the industry due to its poor customer service. However, this trick was pulled by a woman who had had enough of their poor service. Because she “couldn’t get up after a fall,” she requested medical assistance.
Please, Call Comcast
The woman, who was not the best at performing an intricate act, made numerous errors along the way, which the EMS recognized right away. She asked them to call Comcast as they were about to leave because they were a higher priority. At the very least, she tried.
I Want That!
Kids and teenagers are influenced by peer pressure to do strange and often dangerous things. There’s no shame in admitting that we all tried something embarrassing when we were younger to “fit in with the crowd.” A mother and her adolescent daughter came in, claiming that her son had broken his wrist.
I Want That!
The mother revealed the true cause of her daughter’s broken arm while the doctors took her away for an X-ray. Her friend had recently received a cast, and she desired one as well. Fashion is an interesting choice.
Voices in My Head
A Reddit user recounts their encounter with a woman who claimed to have multiple personalities. DID is a difficult issue to deal with by its very nature. However, she claimed to converse with and summon the various personalities in her head was the first major red flag.
Voices In My Head
This appeared to be more of a psychotic disorder to the Redditor, if not a tactic to gain attention. However, the patient’s girlfriend was also present, and she began listing the personalities in her head, the majority of which resembled Disney princesses.
You’re Totally Fine
This is a one-of-a-kind situation. The patient had not only pretended to be paralyzed, but they had also given their unusual condition a name. She mentioned how she tends to go “code blue” from time to time and how they can help her relax.
You’re Totally Fine
Her “code blue” consisted of her dozing off for several minutes with her eyes closed. Her vitals were perfect, according to the Redditor. Was she under the impression that she was in a film?
An Unlikely Blast
If you try to fake a medical condition (which you shouldn’t), don’t do what the doctors say. They could be attempting to elicit an emotional response from you. It was more of a case of “Never eavesdrop on people.”
An Unlikely Blast
His doctor was talking to the nurse about back pain and C4 when the patient overheard him. C4 does not refer to the explosive but the fourth cervical vertebrae. After that, he began to have nightmares about an explosive taped to his back that was about to detonate.
It’s Much Clearer
We have all been conditioned to try to fit in with society. So we don’t blame this one kid for merely attempting to appear “cooler” in his class. According to his parents, his parents brought him in because he couldn’t see the board at school.
It’s Much Clearer
The Redditor’s father, who was examining him, put him through a series of visual tests to figure out how he felt about wearing glasses as a social thing. He was given glasses with no power, which allowed him to see “clearly.”
All for Love
Isn’t it true that love knows no bounds? Because he had developed an unexpected inability to work, a young man was brought in from juvenile detention. So naturally, his relatives came to see him. The medical staff agreed after the sister insisted on staying the night.
All For Love
They learned the hard way the next morning that they were not siblings. The boy had done 1000 squats to trigger a muscle breakdown, it was revealed after a string of cuss words and forced dragging. In addition, he had a strong desire to see his girlfriend.
The Ideal Diet
A Redditor who had actually faked it chimed in among all the medical professionals who had shared instances of patients faking it. They were overweight as children and were only advised to eat healthy, filling foods.
The Ideal Diet
When their doctor inquired about their diet, they listed all of the fruits and vegetables they would avoid at all costs. The irony is that both parties were aware of the outright lies.
Scrambled or Sunny Side Up
It’s concerning how many of these cases involve a parent fabricating a child’s illness. Or they prompted it in some way. For example, tonsil surgery was scheduled for a three-year-old. Instead, she couldn’t eat or drink anything the night before, according to the hospital.
Scrambled Or Sunny Side Up
The child vomited undigested scrambled eggs and asparagus in the operating room. The parents admitted to feeding her breakfast after being confronted. They believed that “starving” their child for so long was cruel. This did more harm than good to the child.
It’s a Miracle!
Scaring the “unresponsive” patient with an IV is the oldest trick in the book. When a medical professional is unsure whether or not someone is merely pretending to be unconscious, they will use this tried-and-true method.
It’s A Miracle!
A blood transfusion is something that everyone fears, especially an IV, which requires large needles and will almost certainly cause pain. A couple of times, two EMTs attempted to bring the patient “back to life” in a mellow manner. But, unfortunately, they had to scare them back to consciousness when things didn’t work.
Where is the Airport?
A Redditor mentions that their mother is a mental health nurse. A man came in one day and requested a specific medication. He couldn’t answer any of her questions, so she played a trick on her by asking, “Donde esta el aeropuerto?” and claiming that voices in his head were telling him to do bad things in a foreign language.
Where Is The Airport?
What he said was simply a Spanish translation of the question, “Where is the airport?” Sure enough, she informs him that she cannot provide directions to the airport and sends him away without anything.
On a Scale
A doctor will usually ask a patient to rate their pain on a scale of one to ten when they come in with pain in their body. Consider it from a logical standpoint. Isn’t ten the kind of agony that causes your eyes to twitch and your toes to curl?
On A Scale
Here’s what a person in “nine or ten” pain wouldn’t do. They wouldn’t be sitting in the treatment room peacefully. No way, they’d be screaming and/or rolling around on the floor/bed. So how do people have such a low effort level?
Definitely Not Faking
When faking a seizure, don’t say anything in the middle and keep “seizing” like it’s no big deal. Anyone who has a seizure loses control of their nervous system, resulting in muscle spasms and other symptoms.
Definitely Not Faking
A woman who pretended to have a seizure was taken to a hospital, where one doctor immediately recognized her. The “patient” stopped seizing, spit cuss words at her, and went back to her shenanigans as she shared her thoughts with her coworkers. The mental deficiency is truly alarming.
On and Off
One Redditor described a woman who showed up at the emergency room for no apparent reason. The woman’s sister arrived at the hospital while the triage nurse was figuring out what was wrong with her. The woman began convulsing when she noticed her.
On And Off
Obviously, the sister became concerned and demanded that her sister be cared for. The woman was taken to a waiting room, where a doctor gave her medication. Then there’s this: When her sister was distracted for a split second, she was back to normal.
Maybe if You’d Drive
When cops caught someone shoplifting or pulled a driver over for driving under the influence, they would act as if they were having a seizure. This would give them time to recuperate in medical care while avoiding legal action. The partner of a Redditor came across a woman who had been caught shoplifting.
Maybe If You’d Drive
When they put her in the back of the truck, she began shaking violently and didn’t stop until they drove away from the store. To put things in perspective, tonic-clonic seizures prevent people from speaking or reacting in that way.
How Are They Not Concerned!
A hypochondriac is a person who lives in constant fear of having a serious but undiagnosed medical condition, according to a Redditor’s aunt. Her family is aware of the situation and tends to stay out of it, which irritates her.
How Are They Not Concerned!
You’d want your family to look after you, but that’s difficult to do when there’s no illness. She’s seen several doctors, all of whom have told her she’s fine. She, on the other hand, isn’t convinced.
Healthy Carrots Breakfast
A 48-year-old woman claims she ate a carrot for breakfast and has a glucose level of 300. The Redditor shares her story. She is overweight, but she is committed to taking her medication regularly, which is a positive sign. She, on the other hand, can’t seem to give up chocolate bread and pastries.
Healthy Carrots Breakfast
It is only as good as your last diet that medications are effective. – A ham sandwich with hot chocolate, she confessed, had been part of her heavy breakfast that day. Her glucose levels were out of control, as you might expect.
Serves Him Right
A patient complained of an episodic “tic” where he would sporadically move his right elbow sideways. He embellished the story by stating that he had previously injured his hand on a desk and that his hand had moved involuntarily.
Serves Him Right
In reality, he was using it as a pretext to elbow someone. The man refused to admit his guilt. We take comfort in the fact that his story came to life when he banged his right elbow on the desk on his way out and had a spasm.
He Had No Clue
While we don’t know the details of this incident, we believe it was serious. A man with a bullet wound in his leg walked into the office. Staff at the hospital questioned him about his injuries and where the bullet came from, and he gave an odd response.
He Had No Clue
He claimed he had tripped and injured himself as a result of it. The surgeons had to remove the bullet from his leg and show it to him because he couldn’t see it. However, he insisted that he had been shot.
No Pain Meds for You
We’d be surprised, according to doctors, to learn what people would do to obtain pain medication. So, if pretending to be in pain after surgery when you aren’t is an inconvenience that some people are willing to accept, then so be it.
No Pain Meds For You
If you were to learn that a sweet elderly couple was capable of pulling off such an act, you would be even more surprised, but that is precisely why this case stands out to us. When it comes to spotting a faker, it is possible to identify almost anyone.
Fool’s Gold
The following story brought to mind the expression “fool’s gold.” It refers to putting into action a plan that you believe will be beneficial but which, in reality, will most likely fail or cause problems.
Fool’s Gold
In this woman’s case, she lied about her eye test when she was a child to obtain glasses. While she may have thought it was cool that she had gotten a pair of specs, her vision would have deteriorated due to the situation.
Flipped a Switch
If someone goes from one extreme temperament to the next in a short period of time, it’s a strong indicator that they’re faking or being particularly dramatic. For example, consider this woman who claimed to have broken her tooth.
Flipped A Switch
However, as soon as the doctors attended to her and began preparing a room for her, her entire state changed, and she was back to normal. Something doesn’t sound quite right here, does it?
The Walking Dead
Did you know that the dead were secretly alive and could provide answers to your inquiries? Yes, we are aware that ghosts exist, but that is not what is taking place here. Instead, we think we smell a rat…
The Walking Dead
Moreover, when we refer to a rat, we refer to someone who is faking death for an unknown reason. A word of caution to the impostors out there: responding “because I’m dead” is a dead giveaway! Make an effort to do better next time!
A Sheepish Fainter
Whenever someone has a history of being a drama queen, it’s safe to assume that whatever they say will be taken with a grain of salt. As a result, when this patient pretended to faint in front of her female doctor, the doctor knew exactly what to do to ‘cure’ her.
A Sheepish Fainter
The doctor decided to ignore the woman and return to her desk to complete her work. After a short period of time, the sheepish fainter rose to his feet and walked away. The case has been closed.
Believe Me
A greater pain than being unbelieved is that of not being believed. Consequently, we can only imagine how difficult it must be to be in excruciating physical pain while no one appears to notice or care about your plight.
Believe Me
After waiting 32 hours at the hospital, this poor patient was only given a brief examination. But, in contrast to the other cases, this one was not about someone who was crying wolf, yet no one believed her story!
Overdoing It!
Hypochondriacs are people who have high levels of anxiety and believe they have an undiagnosed medical condition, even though there is no evidence to support this belief. As a result, we can imagine a doctor having difficulty treating someone with this condition with the seriousness that they deserve.
Overdoing It!
We like the above verbiage because it makes fun of hypochondriacs, which we find amusing. Ordinarily, we wouldn’t laugh when we hear about death, but in this case, we know it isn’t true, so we do.
Extreme Measures
Alan Knight, a British citizen, went to extreme lengths to avoid being hauled before a court for theft charges that had been filed against him. He decided to pretend to be in a coma for two years to avoid a legal battle.
Extreme Measures
And yes, you did read that correctly! As absurd as this story appears to be, it is true, and he successfully carried out his evil scheme for a long time. We have to wonder why it has taken so long for people to realize what has happened.
The Pen Trick
Do you want to know if someone is pretending to be dizzy? Simply follow along with this trick using a pen or pencil, and you’ll have your answer in no time.
The Pen Trick
While the concept of testing to see if someone is lying may seem strange at first, it is clear from the examples above that it is necessary for certain situations. Furthermore, the trick shouldn’t be too painful. We certainly hope not!
A Cancer Scam
Although a medical professional did not reveal this next story, it is such a bizarre tale about an illness-faker that we had to share it with you. Belle Gibson, a “wellness” blogger, built her brand because she had cured herself of terminal cancer.
A Cancer Scam
Rather than being genuine, it was all part of a larger scam and ploy to attract attention and get people to believe in her brand. Isn’t this stuff shocking to hear? Unfortunately, there are still plenty of cancer scams out there today.
Not a Symptom
DVT (deep vein thrombosis) is a medical condition in which a blood clot forms deep within the body’s veins. Swelling in the knees and legs, cramps, throbbing in the area, and general soreness are the most common symptoms.
Not A Symptom
One woman, however, who was certain she had DVT, had a rather unusual symptom. She claimed that she felt a clot in her lungs. That would not, under any circumstances, indicate a DVT. So who was it that told her she had a clot in her lungs?
A slurry of Soup and Milk
An RN took to Reddit to tell the story of a woman who couldn’t bear to leave the hospital because she was having too much fun. They believe she was on pain medicine, which is why she was clutching to the facilities.
Slurry Of Soup And Milk
Worst of all, she was so desperate to stay that she thought throwing up her lunch in the bin would convince doctors she had thrown up. She later claims that she ate the milk first, then the soup, in halves.
No Love for Soccer
A few adults, not doctors, spoke up with their own stories about the times they pretended to be ill. The Redditor was only in third grade, so that we can forgive him. They despised soccer and did everything in their power to avoid going to the gym.
No Love For Soccer
They informed the school nurse that they had a headache on their leg, despite their lack of anatomy knowledge. With one look, the nurse, clearly disappointed, told them they needed to leave her office.
Eyes Wide Open
Do you recall the last time you felt a sharp pain in your muscles as if your spine was about to pop out? If so, do you recall how you felt about it? The most common response is to scream in agony.
Eyes Wide Open
One thing to keep in mind about these distress screams is that, due to the pain, you will always be closing your eyes. Because they kept yelling with their eyes wide open, a medical professional on Reddit could catch someone lying using this theory.
Some Saltbae Action
If you don’t have time to deal with patients who are faking seizures, try this quick and effective treatment from a medical professional on Reddit. They shared how they get rid of “patients” who are faking seizures, claiming that it is common.
Some Saltbae Action
All they have to do is smack the liar with a pinch of ammonia salt, and they’re good to go. Ammonia salt, also known as smelling salt, is a chemical that helps people regain consciousness. It’s quite potent, and healthy people will almost certainly react to it.
Healing Them With Just A Few Words!
The sender of this story said, “I’m an ICU and ER nurse. We get a lot of malingering in the ER. One day, one of our frequent fliers came in and started faking a seizure in triage. Now obviously I know this lady and she’s been fake-seized a million times before. But this time it’s in the lobby in front of about 30 people, who have no way of knowing that it’s fake.”
Healing Them With Just A Few Words!
“She’s lolling around on the floor making a damn fool of herself and folks look horrified. I walked up to her and said calmly: The doctor asked, “‘[What] are you doing?’ To which this genius responds, ‘I’M SEIZING!’ And the doctor then added, “I told her to stop seizing. So she did.” We’d have been delighted to see the expressions on the faces of everyone in the waiting area who must have believed this person was a miracle worker!
Constant “Migraines”
As a kid, we’re sure everyone was caught bringing a sickie to school at least once! This, on the other hand, is a unique situation. The writer said, “When I was a kid I learned I could fake sickness and get out of school. So 1-2 days a week [I] would get a ‘migraine’ and hold my head and complain and I would get to go home.
Constant “Migraines”
The writer then continued, “Eventually my parents took me to a neurologist who said ‘maybe you just don’t let him eat chocolate and sugar?’ I admitted to faking and was grounded for a long long time.”
Jumping Jacks For Drugs
This person said, “30y/o woman came to the ED with such ‘excruciating belly pain’, ‘paralyzed’, ‘oh god it hurts when you press there’, ‘MUST HAVE OXYCODONE NOW’. ED doc said if she can get out of the ED bed and do 20 jumping jacks, we can give her the Oxy. She did 20 jumping jacks, then got kicked out of the ED.”
Jumping Jacks For Drugs
Someone else suggested that this doctor supplement his income by working as a personal trainer. However, we assume that they would only be able to work with people who are addicted to drugs.
Faking Whooping Cough!
The user said, “My mom’s an ER nurse and she said once some crazy lady came in and complained [that] she had a whooping cough. And whenever she coughed she followed it with a loud ‘woooOOOP!'”
Faking Whooping Cough!
To be honest, you have to applaud her for how far she has come. In our positions, we’d make her repeat the exercise over and over until she recognized how silly she looked.
Drawing On Wounds
One user said, “Dermatologist here. Patient was convinced she had a melanoma and needed a biopsy and would need to be on workers comp. I told her it looked like ink from a marker. She demanded a biopsy.
Drawing On Wounds
The user continued, I wiped the area off with an alcohol swab and showed her the ink and that there was no spot on her skin anymore. She stormed out threatening to sue.” This person went on to add how happy they were to have been able to cure the person of their condition so quickly!
The Wrong Sorts Of Kidney Stones
“ER nurse. Bringing a patient back to a room who said he had kidney stones,” the user said. He continued, “I had him stop at the bathroom and get a urine sample. Dude comes out with the specimen cup that literally has a piece of concrete in it.”
The Wrong Sorts Of Kidney Stones
“Looked him in the eye expecting some sort of joke. He. Was. Serious. I threw it away and walked his dumbass back to the waiting room to contemplate his stupidity.” Unless this person has been consuming sidewalk food, I believe that the majority of people would have picked up on this deception!
Faking Blindness
A user said, “Had a patient when I was an intern feigning blindness. She would constantly be playing on her smartphone, only furiously trying to hide it when someone from the care team came into her room. The best was when my attending one day strolled past her room and threw his hand up in a highly exaggerated ‘hello’ wave.”
Faking Blindness
Then the user added, “She started to throw her arm up [too] but caught herself half way through, then threw her hand back into her lap and pretended to be ‘staring’ off into nothing.” Honestly, this person appears as the world’s worst actor! Imagine someone waving while you pretend to be blind! That’s day one stuff!
Holiday Sickness
The person said, “No doctor but a funny story from work a couple years ago. Guy calls in sick for around 8 days, says on the phone he is really sick. Comes back to work the next week, tanned as f*ck. This dude hands a medical slip to the manager written in Spanish, on the slip there is an official seal from some random Cuban clinic.”
Holiday Sickness
The person continued, “Guy walks over to [me] with a grin on his face saying ‘Yeah I’m probably fired.’ Well, “He was fired.” We doubt this guy cared, based on the fact that he was smiling. At the very least, I hope he had a great holiday!
The Old Baby Turtle Ploy!
“I work in occupational health (I’m an athletic trainer, not a doctor though). I once had a guy come in complaining of back pain. He hobbled into my office walking one inch at a time and groaning in pain. I knew he was faking it when I hardly touched 10 different areas on his back and he howled in pain, “ the user said.
The Old Baby Turtle Ploy!
Continuing, “I looked out the window to my office and saw about a dozen baby turtles crossing, I called out for him to come look. He jumped off the massage table and sprinted over in awe of the baby turtles. I told him to get back to work.” Another fooled by the classic baby turtle ploy! If only we had a penny for every time we’d witnessed someone fall for it!
A Common Lie!
The user said, “Ophthalmology technician. People pretend to be blind all the time. Go to check their eye pressure with the tonopen (a device you poke them DIRECTLY into the eye with) and they go, ‘WHAT THE F**K IS THAT THING!?’.”
A Common Lie!
What’s the use of pretending to be blind anyway? We’re guessing it’s some kind of insurance rip-off? What else are they going to get out of it? Unless they’re doing something shady, right?